Count to five and let the fear take over.

Today I rolled my moms car into a garden ditch in front of our work. I was only driving 3mph but, still. I literally sat there going "holy shit holy shit, oh my god please please no no no" clutching the steering wheel. The all familiar fear crept over me punching into my lungs and making my knuckles lock tightly around the steering wheel. I don't remember specific details aside from; I threw the car into reverse, cut the wheel and drove right up onto the lawn and cut onto the shoulder of the road. I pulled into the Walgreens across the street and sat there silently. I didn't hear anything wrong with the car and when I got out to do an inspection I saw nothing more than little leaf poking out from underneath. The tail pipe is fine and when I was driving home everything seemed great, but of course my nerves are still frazzled four hours later. I keep worrying and worrying and criticizing myself for making such a stupid silly mistake. Everyone keeps reassuring me that "cars are strong! if everything looks ok then don't worry about it!" but if anything turns out to be wrong with her car I'll feel awful.

Today was not exactly a "win" for me. Maybe tomorrow will be better.