"Life's not a bitch life is a beautiful woman You only call her a bitch because she won't let you get that pussy...

Maybe she didn't feel y'all shared any similar interests.."


I wish that I had a body where stress did not twist my stomach into a little knot and make it incapable of keeping down anything other than yogurt. I wish I wasn't watching "Soul Food" right now and watching two people fuck up against a wall ashamed, while I'm wrapped up in a parka on my laptop doing homework.

My writing lately has been scattered jumbled cross-word puzzle puke. Everywhere.. I've had a headache, heartache, mindfuck for the past three weeks. My step dad has a new pitbull that just showed up on his door step. His name's "BOY" and he put his face really close to mine, growled and kissed me.

The Rachel Zoe Project.

SO LETS JUST TALK ABOUT THIS TRAIN WRECK/ BRILLIANT IDEA FOR A BRAVO SHOW.

Up until I'd say, two years ago I had no idea who the fuck Rachel Zoe was. I would read about her in a few fashion magazines, she was kind of offensive looking and her fashion picks were good but always too expensive/unrealistic for me to care about. I remember seeing her pop up on episodes of the Tyra Banks Show (which ultimately was the moment I decided I liked her after seeing the two divas compete for "who's turn it is to speak now..) also loved the fact that Zoe encourages girls to put little round band aids on their nipples when they go bra-less. Genius. Anyway, it wasn't until Nicole Richie came out with this hilarious statement in her myspace blog :

"What 35 year old raisin face whispers her order of 3 pieces [sic] of asparagus for dinner at Chateau everynight [sic], and hides her deathly disorder by pointing the finger at me, and used her last paycheck I wrote her to pay for a publicist [sic] instead of a nutritionist? HINT: Her nickname is lettucecup..."

That I started paying attention to Zoe. I love anybody who gets shit talked by Nicole Richie and at an attempt to ruin Zoe's reputation all she did was spark that shit to all all time high. Now as brilliant as that statement from Richie is, I personally was not informed of Zoe's nickname being lettucecup but that's ok because not that many people talk to me. Also rumored that Zoe is an avid adderall pill poppin-coffee having feign which is brilliant and after watching her show I fully support this statement after hearing her "catchphrases.."

“I die,” “That’s bananas” and “Shut it down.”

I also just heard her say "I'd die like, just put me in a coffin and let me die with that ring on." and "WITCH VIBE WITCH VIBE when I get a witch vibe that means that I just know that's going to be the look on the red carpet."

..................ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Her two assistants on the show are almost as manic/wired/drugged insane as Zoe is..

First there's assistant #1 Taylor Jacobson known as "Tay" who has been with Zoe the longest/ is her wing man.

Now I know from this picture she almost looks like an attractive, nice young woman. But I assure you she is not. She is one constant case of "I HAVE PMS" and doesn't seem to understand the word "time management" or how to handle stress. Also her side bangs are fucking annoying/ not realistic. The pattern in every episode goes like this..

ZOE IS STRESSED SO SHE TAKES IT OUT ON TAY --- TAY IS STRESSED SO SHE TAKES IT OUT ON BRAD --- BRAD IS STRESSED/A PUSSY SO HE ALWAYS ENDS UP CRYING!


Which leads me to assistant #2 and "new guy" Brad Goreski who's is probably the only like able character on the show, aside from me being in love with Rachel simply because she is a fucking mess. Brad's only job on the show is to take "Tay's" shit with a smile, get yelled at when he can't read Tay's mind, and always ends up with him having an emotional breakdown and threatening to quit.

Did I mention that I have inferred all of this lovely information from only 3 episodes and the entire season recap? Yeah..

According to the recap some serious shit is about to go down, I can't wait I'm actually addicted. This show has replaced my love for America's Next Top Model. More on this riveting topic later.

pieces of you are a thousand characters in any story i'll ever attempt to write.

things that scare me

Lunch in bed

yogurt, black coffee, peach, wheat pitas with peanut butter and bananas, chocolate biscuits.

this high pollen count is seriously killing me.

BUT

TOMORROW

IS

THE DAY
WHY? WITH MOUNT EERIE @ the F.U.C

Seeing my favorite band tomorrow night at in Philly with my best friend's Melissa and Corey + a few of our other friends. Meeting up (possibly) with our friend's Taryn,Matt Schmid, and last but not least the man himself Dru Kramcsak! So without a doubt tomorrow is going to be the bomb. I even got a new outfit that's sure to set if off.

make a plan to love me sometime soon.

I don't give a damn, except that I get bored sometimes when people tell me to act my age. Sometimes I act a lot older than I am- I really do- but people never notice it. People never notice anything.

I want to make a sort of "zine" (pronounced Z-EE-N in my vocabulary) with some of my writings/short stories/ pictures art..etc. Let me know if you're interested : email me at erica.moreno@live.com they won't cost more than $2.00 (maybe less) will trade for candy or an old dog you don't want anymore.

--


For the record..I miss the way you used to make the coffee in the morning (before you were always hung over.) I don't know how you do it but you still manage to wake up early every morning, we all pretend like nothing is different.

Some mornings I just feel like screaming.

ever confident, never nervous, for i feel nothing

I don't care about anything anymore other than making the right decision these days. I spend almost all of my time :
a.) commuting from work to home to school and back
b.) doing endless amounts of class work
c.) complaining about how tired I am
d.) working
e.) dreading working and having class afterwards



I need new wallet, my purse is ruining my posture. I have finally chosen Kinesics as my Minor, keeping Human Services Drug and Alcohol Counseling as my major. Kinesics (if you are not familiar,) is the interpretation of body language such as facial expressions and gestures — or, more formally, non-verbal behavior related to movement, either of any part of the body or the body as a whole.


All body movements have potential meaning in communicative contexts.

Today it was rainy weepy humid, a bit of sulking. I wish I had the biggest bouquet of sunflowers sitting on my vanity. I want to crack the spine out of my body and soak in a hot bath.

I feel like my personality has been clashing with everybody's lately and I hate when that happens. Sometimes I feel like everything about me just straight up clashes with everyone, period.




My first real memory of being happy was swinging on the porch at my Nana's. I would swing for hours and sing "It's a hard knock life" from the movie Annie, because I was obsessed when I was little and convinced I was secretly Little Orphan Annie in a past life. My Nana would wash the dishes from the kitchen and listen to me sing, and once I was finished she would clap and cheer. I would run away, knobby kneed and shy but secretly deep down I loved that feeling. I remember kneading the left over pie crust into little dough balls, baking them on a cookie sheet next to the pie my Nana was baking. When they were finished we would dust them with powdered sugar while I listened to her talk on the phone. Before I would leave she would always make sure I had a pretty new ribbon to put in my hair for school the next day. I remember the tea set, my Poppy always leaving peanut shells on the floor, him pointing out the different birds as they flew down from the Odessa sky to snack on the peanut butter bird feeder we had hanging from a tree. Watching a hummingbird flap it's wings and asking if I could reach out and touch them. The smell of their house during the changing seasons. Honeysuckles and ham in the summer, cinnamon sticks and the wood stove burning in the winter. She bought me my first cassette tape TLC's Crazy Sexy Cool and I listened to it on the sun porch floor for hours that afternoon. I'll never understand why people who weren't even my blood grandparents could have possibly loved me so much, when both sets of my blood grandparents never even knew what I looked like until years later.

No matter how lonely I feel I always try to think about that situation and remember that there is always someone willing to love you. It'll always be ok.