This hot weather makes me so happy that I have a job that's located inside with central air. Unfortunately the central air in my house is BROKEN!!!!!!!! MEANING WE'RE STRAIGHT UP SUFFERING! The humidity lately has been off the chain, so I'm just rocking curly hair and that supposed "dewy" look meaning I'm just sweaty and miserable and parading around in my boyfriends boxer shorts.
Santa Cruz lemonade, keepin' it real
All I do when I get home from work is plant my bum in front of the oscillating fan, pour myself some lemonade and listen to Marvin Gaye preferably "Got to give it up" it makes me wanna shake it in this heat like I never thought anybody could. I need to find a friend with a pool, or perhaps brave the disgusting rivers around here and just take a 50/50 chance of inhaling fecal matter, I mean whatevz. Or maybe I could find a friend with central air to live off of.
"And although we've forgotten the language we spoke in those years -- it is as lost as the bell-bottom jeans, home-tie-dyed shirts, Nebru jackets and signs that said KILLING FOR PEACE IS LIKE FUCKING FOR CHASTITY -- sometimes a word or two comes back. Information, you know. Information. And sometimes, in my dreams and memories (the older I get the more they seem to be the same), I smell the place where I spoke that language with such easy authority: a whiff of earth, a scent of oranges, and the fading smell of flowers."
Thanks for suspending my last account, which I got in early December before the huge "Twitter-Fad!" Apparently my account was suspended due to "suspicious activity" aka I made a post about "I wish all the hot n horny twitter porn bots would stop adding me!" .. Twitter you are full of idiots and the minute I made my new account guess who was the first to add me? Yupp, a twitter porn bot. Brb jerking off to live dicks on webcams.
A very wise man once said to me "I really think gay guys probably have the best relationships. They actually understand dudes and probably like to bang and hang and that's it."
On that note I'd like to discuss the topic of heterosexual people, dating each other; It's sort of a bad idea. Now before you all freak out I'd like to emphasize the fact that I myself am in a heterosexual relationship very happily might I add! But unfortunately for me, it took many years of trial and error to actually learn how to not drive boys insane and make them hate me. The one thing I wish someone would have told me when I first grew a big butt at age 14 and started dating was this, BOYS ARE DIFFERENT THAN GIRLS!
Why didn't someone warn me!?! Why didn't someone scream out from the top of their window "Erica all of these meaningless mistakes and fights you've gotten yourself into over different boys/guys/men whatever you want to call them, 99% of all those misunderstandings could have been prevented if you only knew BOYS ARE DIFFERENT THAN GIRLS!"
Boys want to go hang out with friends, they want to go off and do cool guy shit. This term is referred to as "bro'ing down." Usually bro'ing down consist of doing whatever it is that particular type of guy + his friends enjoy doing such as; watching youtube videos, eating pizza, skateboarding, or just going to the mall/movies whatever. If you don't get a text message from him because he's too busy bro'ing it, do not freak out. Don't tell him you feel neglected. Don't text him incessantly. Don't jump to conclusions and ASSUME "suddenly" hates you. Don't cry to your girlfriends that he's "ignoring you," because he really isn't. Sure if you don't hear from him for an entire week and see that he's still updating his facebook status like a motherfucker' chances are yeah, sure, he is ignoring you. But in most cases he's just busy doing what guys do best, having fun with his friends.
That's another thing.. girls seriously cannot have fun. Is there anything girls do that doesn't always end in talking about boys? Is there ever a night where you're out with your ladies, going to ~da club~ or what have you, and by the time you're all winding down clicking through your phones, isn't there always that one friend who's crying about her man?
Do you think for a SECOND that men EVER do these sort of things? "Oh yeah I'm so bummed out guys. My girl never text messaged/bbm'd/twitter @'d/myspace messaged/ facebook commented me back!" Hellll no! And you know why? Because men are men. Men like women (unless they are homosexual in which case this isn't related to you, play on playa,) but men also like hanging out with their guy friends, getting a little break from us women.
Now wouldn't it be great if girls had the same concept? That for once when they didn't hear from their guy for more than an hour they didn't let out an annoying sigh and say "Ugggggggghhhhh *inserthisnamehere* is ignoring me!" And don't mistake this blog for me riding around on my high horse because embarrassingly enough we've all been there, done that, including me. But you live and you learn. You learn that freaking out over nothing, telling him you feel "ignored" all of these are signs of insecurity.. clingyness aka all red flags. This will only make a guy take a step backward and go "damn... she's crazy." And yes ladies, let's admit it already we are crazy.
But we are also smarter than men in every other aspects, come on, we can carry little humans inside our uterus for 9months, WE ARE machines! So why let the guys have all the fun, literally? So the next time you feel like overreacting take a deep breath shorty. Put your phone back into your purse, check your weave and just have a little F U N. Relax. Don't let technology make you look too available, don't let technology make YOU feel vulnerable, try a little mystery for once. Be your own person, have your own friends, and most importantly have your own fun.
If this entry really hasn't sunk into your thick head, you should just read this skank's third memoir. She's actually onto something.
I don't have anything to blog about, minus Ciara being hot and some art that I currently like. My moms been gone on vacation so I'm holding down the fort with the dogs and keeping up with the laundry/cooking and cleaning. My one dog is dying and it's bumming my mom and I out more and more. We keep giving her all the medicine the vet's prescribed but she's dying of congestive heart failure. There's nothing we can really do but try to make her last days here on earth as comfortable as we can. Poor baby.
On a less dismal note I started going for morning jogs in the woods behind my house. This will honestly be the first physical activity I've endured since the 4th grade when I played soccer for M.O.T. So far I'm doing good staying motivated. There are a few trails to choose from so I throw on my Nike Shox, grab my water bottle, headphones and I "JUST DO IT!"
The only downside to this new found rural exercise routine is; it's hot, it's dirty (I find all sorts of foliage in my hair) I sometimes trip on tree roots, and last but not least, the bugs! I never realized how blatantly disrespectful bugs can be. I straight up had two of them fly directly into my right eyeball and I ran right through a spiders web (which I felt semi-bad about.) I even found a deer tick smaller than one of my freckles on my arm while I was in the shower, and stumbled upon a rotting dead animals carcass (not in the shower, I'm still talking about the woods.) Clearly living in the shit-kickers universe never prepared me for all these challenges!
Aside from being one with nature I also have a few tricks up my sleeve to make the rest of this summer at enjoyable as possible. I want to get back into taking pictures with my 35mm and have looked into finding a dark room to develop film in. There's nothing like opening the film cassette, loading the film on the reel, mixing all the processing chemicals and seeing your picture come to life. I know digital photography is convenient but I really enjoyed the old fashioned way. I'm sure this is just another itching for some new hobby, but I'll keep the blogger world updated, I always (unfortunately) do.
All I need is an extra $765 for a round trip ticket to Rio de Janeiro and someone who speaks fluent Portuguese to be my tour guide. I'll add this onto "the list" of places I want to travel before I die.
1. True Religion ridiculous booty shorts (duh) 2. Lemon Heads because they're my favorite candy 3. A pineapple fruity drink 4. Baby oil so I can fit in with the locals 5. Cutout Gladiator Sandal so my long legs can look even longer 6. Ray-Ban sunglasses to avoid wrinkles 7. GPG tan bag so I can almost (haha) look like a local
Drank coffee while I took my bath Said goodbyes to my bf (no tears!) Fell in love with an old album on the train Played Donkey Kong on my bf's game boy Had a tummy ache for 2hours Saw a man take off his sneaker and take a big ol'sniff Bought blueberries for my Nana Came home Kissed my dogs so much, they're getting so fat! Put on a Lil'Kim record while I unpacked all my shit Ate the rest of my chocolate Caught up with all the biz on the internet, after about an hour I'm all caught up and bored as usual. Back to work tomorrow and the real world, maybe this week I'll convince my mom to get the lights fixed on her mini-van. She's been riding the "war wagon" (credit Ricky Jefferson) with the busted bumper and the lights that do not work around town for the past month now. My mother literally has to be home before dark because her headlights (mysteriously,) won't work...it really has nothing to do with the fact that the check engine light has been on for almost a year... Mommy needs to get her priorities straight and hopefully I can convince her to stop living in the dark age (har har!) In other news here are some majorly dorky things I've been into recently :
Heaven on earth, also Vegan for your nerds who practice that sort of thing
Found a book on "Herbal Medicine" in the garage sale that is my boyfriend's living room and oddly enough I'm really into it. I looked into 13 or so different detoxification potions (umm.. that means you mix natural herbs together and make teas,) as well as natural facial scrubs, and natural medicine. They talk about how various plant roots can cure all sorts of things from a toothache to even a broken bone! But don't get too excited bloggers, this book isn't exactly the holy grail.
It was written in 96' and has some tweaking to do. I also have a strange suspicion that whomever wrote this book has a fascination with shoving things up the anus. For example : they suggest that if you have an earache (AN EARACHE AS IN YOUR EAR!) you should cut up an union, wrap it in some gauls and shove it up your booty hole (ATTN WE ARE STILL DEALING WITH AN EARACHE.) I will not be doing that any time soon, sorry2say but I like the idea of using natural teas to cure crampies as well as rubbing lemons with salt on my face to cleanse my pores.
You learn something new everyday. Also someone spray painted "F U" accompanied with a big veiny dick on our neighbors mailbox. My mom fears we might be targeted next, updates soon.
Words really cannot express my love for this company, and the fact that Matt (the bf) took me to an outlet store that sells ridiculously half priced GH chocolate.
I've spent the past week in North Eastern Pennsylvania, with Matt and his family surrounded by mountains, green grass, and waterfalls. The air is clean and the grass is green, little chipmunks even live outside the kitchen window. Despite the rainy days my stay here has been close to perfect, but unfortunately that's all coming to an end. I go back to Delaware tomorrow where my days are filled with work, work and more work.
I have to sort out all my lose ends (eventually,) but for the time being I'm soaking up my last few hours spent relaxing her. I've always been great at over thinking everything and literally exhausting myself with all the tasks waiting for me in Delaware. I usually sit on the bus ride home writing out lists trying to organize myself but alas my life will always be like my purse; full of gum wrappers and 6 different chap sticks.. forever unorganized and looking like a bomb went off, Whatevz.
I've also been unleashing my inner Latina, letting my hair curl all natural. All I need are some big hoops and a can of fanta. (Sorry for the lack of makeup and chapped lips.)