Even if you call, can't hear you at all

Some days I just feel small and sad. I feel like hiding away under the covers with my dogs forever. I make myself a big bowl of oatmeal, slip into the biggest sweater I can find, and turn off my phone. Some days I just need to spend being sad. I think as a girl who grew up with all men I learned quickly to always hide your feelings. Cover them with blankets and sweaters, never be a bother. More importantly don't bother other people with how you feel, because chances are they aren't going to understand, and they probably won't care at all. People can never understand the way that they make you feel. Nobody has the power to look that far into themselves. My life has always revolved around making everyone's life a little easier. I never want to be a burden. I never want to give anyone a reason to be upset with me. But unfortunately, for me, when it rains it pours. Deal with it.

my heart is an apple - The Arcade Fire

Let me ask you one thing

are you happy?

You are so young, so feel alive. And one day you will live on your own.

[click to enlarge.]

Hello again, friend of a friend, I knew you when our common goal was waiting for the world to end

If the world is really ending in 2012 than I suggest you get your apologies in order. You had better pay those student loans, feed the dogs and iron some pants. Wait on your lawn with a cake and some candles, throw up your hands like the 4th of July.

--

Makeup haul/review

The Body Shop's new Fall Makeup line

I purchased the 2nd blusher "Cool Dusk" a soft pink muted blush with a natural-looking shimmer highlight. This is a perfect color for fair skin maidens (such as myself.) $16.10 (no tax)

L'Oreal Extra Volume Collagen Hydra Collagen Mascara (longest name,ever!)

This is by far the best mascara I've ever used. It lengths, thickens and makes you look like you're wearing falsies. It's super build able and clump-free. I use the non-waterproof formula because it's more conditioning than waterproof formulas. I reccomend this to anybody who wants bomb-ass lashes. $7 drugstores everywhere.

FRESH Lip Sugar treatment

The Body Shop

I hesitantly bought this lip treatment last winter. I couldn't justify spending $22 on basically a lip balm but my friend (as well as the Sephora worker) talked me into it, and I'm sure glad they did. This is by far the best lip balm/lip treatment I have ever used. I was blessed with big lips, which unfortunately are more prone to drying and chapping in the cold north east winters. This treatment is a witches brew full of magical reparative oils, waves and real sugar. There is SPF to prevent aging as well as a sweet and tart blackcurrant oil which cushions the lips with essential plumping fatty acids. Antioxidant grapeseed polyphenols and vitamins A,C, and E provide extra protection. It smells like lemon pound cake and tastes like fruitloops. $22.50 (no tax)

Laura Mercier Lip Silk : Lip Balm

This is a perfect "before bed" treatment. This is a retexurizing lip balm that removes dry, flaky skin and leaves a nourishing blend of vitamin E. This is a perfect product to prepare your lips for the winter, and just remember a little goes a long way. $20.00 (no tax) Sephora

Sephora brand Slim Pencil

These are a super blendable lip-liner that can worn as a lip stain. These are only $5 (hardly breaking the bank.) I bought Nude #144 and Red #45


channeling my inner Kat Dennings

It seems this fall that I'm a little obsessed with lips, kiss kiss xx

I've got a chest full of little things, keeps me remembering over the years.

Oh, the songs I've ever know
Oh, the ones I've ever loved
Oh, It might just be known
Oh, it is my chest of gold

Locket reads : Love Stories.

This weekend was great and consisted mainly of shows(WHY? & Dark Dark Dark on Friday, Rival Mob on Saturday, and Title Fight/ Rise & Fall show Sunday) and eating. I really cannot think of a better past time in life than eating.. this is probably why I have to force myself to abide by strict limitations during the work week I will not eat this bagel, I will eat oatmeal insated, so I can ball outta control on the weekend and eat everything delicious! French toast stuffed with banana and cream cheese icing, endless cups of coffee, the best spinach and cheese omelet, and Indian chicken marsala. My mouths wattering just thinking about all the great food Philadelphia has to offer me.

Each day in the city got progressively colder. I realized I'm deathly allergic to Ivory soap (what the hell?) I had deep heart to hearts with Rashi about "the meaning of life" and "do you think the world is going to end in 2012?" I liked Rashi's response "If the world ends, it ends. If I die, I die. My karma isn't that bad." Perfect response.

Now I'm back in Delaware and back to the daily grinnnnddd, only today was a pretty short day and I only worked 5hours. Kinda bummed I'm missed The Pains of Being Pure last night AND Owen tonight, but I'm all showed out. I have a million things I need to check off my To-Do List. Also would like to state that although my life is incredibly boring most of the time, I'm thankful for that. I want your bad energy.

And I'm under something black, and thicker than a sheet for ghosts.

Being a girl sucks. I can't believe it's already October 1st. This week is already over and then there's the next week (work everyday) then the next week (work everyday) then somewhere along the lines it'll be Halloween. I don't have a single idea for a costume. I'm off to shower and put on makeup for the first time this week. I have dinner with my dad which will prove a little difficult considering I started a new "no sugar, carbs or soda" diet. I'm thinking a huge salad is about to find it's way into my belly.