The entire Owen I do Perceive album is all I really listen to when I'm feeling down. Sad music makes you feel ever sadder, therefor continuing the cycle, watch it go round and round, but I honestly don't mind. I don't think being sad is so damn bad. Humans have feelings and having feelings is part of being a human, we're lucky to have emotions. It only last a little while anyway.
I think I'm just sick of summer. I'm sick of humidity and the constant temperature being 91degrees. I hate never going to the beach and looking pale as a sheet all the time. All I do is work, 11hour days are killing me. I'd really love a pedicure. Having your feet scrubbed and polished to a lady like finish is such a wonderful feeling. But with all that money comes greed, and I don't want to waste $40 on something that's actually pretty dumb.. I can paint my own toe-nails. But it would be a such sweet treat. Who wants to spoil me rotten?
I want fall! I want cardigans, changing leaves, and bus rides up the interstate where the trees change at an alarming rate. I want school to start! I wanna feel so nerdy and stressed out. Anxious about being late for class, nervous about if my professors will like me or not, a little giddy thinking if I'll have any hot professors who throw flirty darts of intellect at me during class. I miss awkward conversations with fellow classmates, and the fact that I never like any of them because they're all normies but I sort of just play along because it's fun. I want to go to the complex and wear boots and throw leaves into the water and start shivering when the sun goes down. I want to crochet in Matt's kitchen. I want my hair so long and curly. No matter how bad life got, I always had fall to make me happy. With it's bonfires and football games. I could always FALL BACK onto fall, it was the one thing I loved that nobody could (still can't) take away from me.
There are so many things that I just want to be different. I'm so sick of this endless cycle. I feel like a cooler climate would mellow me out more clear up my sinuses take away the pollen from the trees that cause my eyes to itch. I'm bored with everything, every book I read, magazine, blog/article/newspaper blah blah they all make me yawn and I really wish there was something to excite me. Look at me sounding all miserable, I think I'm just really I'm sick of boob sweat, I mean seriously fuck boob sweat.