Tuesday, August 25, 2009

One. Two. Three. Four. Who's punk what's the score?

My week long vacation was nice. My skin saw sun for the first time in months, I'm getting familiar with these little freckles on my nose, shoulders and one on my top lip that I forgot creep out when I get a little tan. I ate spoonfuls of nutella on toast and drank milky tea on the tree swing in the morning. I met up with Rashi for late brunch/girl talk/ and we did some shopping and thrifting. I am now a few articles of clothing richer, and $30 poorer.

Today was my first day back to work, it turned out to be a tiresome 10hour day (blahhh) full of a million stinky dogs that I had to bathe. I was a little out of synch considering I'd been off for a week and was looking forward to my usual lunch pick me-up. As usual I went to the local deli where my mom and I normally get a sandwich and a coke. While I was standing in line I saw this guy watching me creepily.. I googled "Creepy mexican" and found this jabroni

Unfortunately I am not one of the hot babes featured above, but you get the idea of what the guy looked like, also he seemed equally as desperate as the guy pictured above.

DISCLAIMER I am hispanic so no I'm not being racist or profiling and or suggesting that all mexicans are perverts..yada yada this guy was straight up wearing a mexican pride t-shirt, so yeah'yeah you get the jist..Jah luv! Continue on with the story..

So as usual I looked super hot. I was wearing my two sizes too big levis, an old war hungry faded band t shirt, black keds covered in dog hair and my rats nest hair was pulled to the side, no makeup and I probz smelled like a wet dog.. I can totally understand why a random guy would be wayyyy into this look and compelled to do what this guy did next.. so I'm walking out to my car with my lunch when this guy walks up to me, HISSES, and motions for me to give him a blowjob!

Now I've definitely dealt with some crass motherfuckers in my day.. but this takes the cake! Especially in the deli parking lot of the small town where I work! Who does that? I can almost understand some random perv on the subway or something, but for someone to do that at 12pm on a Wednesday afternoon.. that really blew my mind, especially that this freak thought I might just you know, by chance suddenly get the ~WILD~ urge to blow him. Because there's nothing more I'd like on my lunch break then to blow you... keep dreaming dude.

So I'm starring at this weirdo with my mouth hanging open, half about to laugh and I flip him off and get into serious mode and shout "fuck off already," as I'm getting into my car. While I'm backing out of the parking space I somehow feel his lazer-perv eyes firing in on me. I briefly look over and he motions to me again! This time I flipped him off, blew him a kiss and sped away. Damn people are weird.

On a less fucked up note I came home to this new edition :

(please excuse the grease face/ lack of makeup!)

My mom found this little bundle of joy in the parking lot at work (we seem to find great things in parking lots..) we've named her Bunny (we wanted to stick with the B names in our pet-family.) She's some kind of a sweetheart, loves to sleep on my dogs belly and doesn't know how to meow. Maybe I'll teach her someday.


the Big Ugly said...

almost as creepy as that dude, but:

your entries always make me feel better about things. i'm not sure if it is the simplicity of the way you say things or just the light you bring to everyday things that go through all our heads. but it is appreciated.

Michelle said...

I totally get you mean, I live in a border city and so I see my share of creepy mexican men!!!

no winners here said...

the big ugly : that isn't creepy at all! it means so much when people give me feedback (need it be +/-) I appreciate your comments and hope you'll continue to keep reading!

no winners here said...

michelle - hahaha my best friend is mexican so it's always a joke like "hey your uncle hit on me again today" (obviously they're not related to her but it's still funny) I guess you have to take them in stride and be sure to stand up for yourself when it's in appropriate