i wish i had a suntan, i wish i had a pizza and a bottle of wine

Baby brother really fucked it up this time.

My mom was going through some old boxes in the garage and found all these old photos. Unfortunately my scanner is broken and the webcam on my hp mini isn't that sharp, but I figured these were worth sharing.

(Front)



My mom wrote this on the back right before we moved to Germany. She even wrote "Dabby"


Me and my older brother Ian at "Jolly Rogers" in Ocean City, MD


This polaroid is so sad! My first dog Bud at my moms old work, getting groomed. He was the sweetest dog but "allegedly" bit some girl in the face so we had to put him to sleep. The day he died was the first time I remember ever feeling real pain, aww RIP BUD "THE SCUD" MORENO.


Me and Ian, fans of nature.


My mom, age 2.


This is probably my favorite picture of me, ever. Look at those teeth!


Me + Ian + John, XMAZ


Me and my grandpa Nedwick (My mom's grandfather.) He passed away when I was 9 and took my nose with him (he was a big fan of the I GOT YOUR NOSE game.)


My mom + my brothers and I dressed up for Easter. Sorry about my lipstick..


My late great pop-pop Joe. He died from cancer while I was still in my mom's belly but I feel like I've known him my whole life. He was a big shot rock guitarist in Delaware who's stage name was "Joe Brandy" because he liked to have one glass of brandy before we went on stage.

I want to be in a concept video

Guess I'm a lez since all my favorite songs + song videos are hot women. Oh well!
Ps. my dog stinks! Tomorrow I'll be sure to bring him to work and give him a bath.

your heart is a strange little orange to peel

^ Itchy tan skin, War Hungry t from 2006, and mustache decal added in Picnik to hide a chocolaty thumbprint.^

Lately I've been feeling like I'm destined to die alone, without any friends. I'll be the old woman with two people at her funeral, her cat and the one grandmother that will probably out live me. No matter what, all my friends (aside from the boyz,) seem to always get sick of me! I'm sure the boys get sick of me too but they're just less vocal about it. Anyway, I guess I should blame it on my mom (since that's what you're supposed to do.) I seem to have inherited her personality down to a t. I'm irritable, snappy, and worry way too much. I don't like being ignored. I roll my eyes and sigh and repeatedly feel the need to make fun of everything, all the time. I'm annoying, loud, and talk way too much. This sounds more like a really bad personals ad.

Today my dad told me "sweetie, don't let other people rent space in your head," which I thought was great. I worry and worry until my stomach knots and flips around and I'm left wondering "what the fuck did I do wrong?" In the grand scheme of things you're never going to figure out how other people see you. You will always be a little mystery to yourself.

Maybe that's a good thing.

So long, and thanks for all the smores!

Spent my Memorial Day weekend at the Beach (no, we don't call it the shore.) I saw a lot of cute pups on the boardwalk and Melissa ate an ice cream flavor called "better than sex." I wore a 2 piece and now my belly is tan. I have sunburn on my shoulders, with secret freckles spreading across my nose that were long forgotten. We saw a car full of mexicans singing opera. My grandmother's cat ate a dryer sheet. I went waist deep into the Atlantic. Found old friends on the boardwalk and invited them back to our camp ground to eat gooey smores and confess "where's the strangest place you've ever had sex," mine wasn't very strange. Learned what "Sussex county mentality" truly is. The locals at Holly Lake liked to chill on the swings with a big boom box and a flashlight at night. I shaved my legs in a public shower house. The sun sucked the life out of me. I didn't eat any boardwalk fries or go on any rides, I did not buy a hermit crab. I found sand in my bellybutton and I'm missing the breeze from the ocean already.

Here's a lil' beachy mix I made while laying out Friday.

PDA ruins everything.

photo cred Katy Statz

I hate PDA. I don't care what your sexual orientation is. I don't care if you're here and queer and getting used to it, I don't want to ever see you making out. I don't care if you're straight as a button and just can't keep your hands off your girlfriend. I don't want to be standing at a show and distracted by the sounds of two humans slurping on eachother's faces. I do not want to see your boyfriend grabbing your asshole and swaying back and forth. I do not want to smell your beer breath while you serenade your girlfriend with drunken lyrics, so close to my face that I almost feel drunk. / end PDA rant.

Some thangz I would like in the near future :

AA Sheer Rib Short Sleeve Tunique


Pet Cruiser® Wicker Cruiser™ Pet Bike Basket


UO Deux Lux Traveler Knapsack


BDG Dolman Tee


BDG Side Button Dolphin Shorts



BDG Geo Racerback Tank


BDG Super Stretch Cigarette Jean


UO Nice Shades Pillowcase Set (I think I wanna get these for Rick!)


Sonic Limeade, forever.

You know I thug 'em, fuck 'em, love 'em, leave 'em Cause I don't fuckin' need 'em

top : news paper t, thrifted
jeans : dark super long xhilaration sknnies target
belt : black & braided H&m
feather : probz from a pigeon's booty, Pay/Half
lip color : Neutrogena "Cherry Twist" target
eyelashes : L'oreal Extra-Volume Collagen Mascara in "Blackest Black" target

(443): guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way

^Proof that my "dog" is actually a carbon copy of Snuggles, and is also an adorable little baby bear.^

New obsession : textsfromlastnight twice as addicting as fml.com, which reminds me, if I hear someone use the term "fml" one more time I will be thrown into a blind rage.

Thursday May 21st 8:30pm

St. Vincent & Pattern Is Movement

@ The First Unitarian Church
2125 Chestnut Street (22nd and Chestnut Sts)
Philadelphia, PA
$12 Advance / $13 Day of Show / All Ages

Thursday is going to rule. Now I know I've been riding St. Vincent pretty hard these past couple of weeks, but I really can't listen to anything else. If you're in the area I suggest coming to the church and checking out two awesome bands!

Time to pick up a pizza and have an Intervention marathon with my mom and our pups, also today I found out my science partner in 11th grade is now making tons of $$ doing gay porn. Play on playa

All of my old friends aren't so friendly, all of my old haunts are now all haunting me .

Why I'm awake at 6:20AM, on my only day off this week, is beyond me. But here I am. I can't help but reflect on this past weekend, and how much it sucked dick. Sometimes I honestly feel like Delaware is this black hole. No matter what, you get sucked in.

Tomorrow's some kind of stranger
Who I'm not supposed to see



You have to be the following to get by:
a drunken college party girl (no check)
into bullshitting with a lot of really boring people (no check)
spoiled rich and rotten so all you do is spend daddy's $$ (no check)
dead (not yet)
old and decrepit (no check)
a workaholic (check)
super close to your family (no check)
obsessed with your significant other and up their ass 24'7 (no check)

One out of 8, I'm doomed.

I keep myself busy with work, but school's out and I'm bored to fucking tears. I think a part of it is growing up too. I feel like I don't belong anywhere. I've always been this wandering soul, full of awkwardness and insecurities. But doesn't every girl feel this way once in awhile? Or was I supposed to get over this when I was 16? I don't understand.

I've just always been this girl who wants to listen to St. Vincent really loud while driving and drink limeade.

I've recently started doing inventory on my life and it's very refreshing. Every couple of months I weed out all of the bad apples and try to surround myself with people who will only keep me positive. I deleted my myspace & facebook a few months ago as to avoid the rage that always set in when people I couldn't stand, never liked at all in "real life" were always thrown in my face. It just got on my nerves and I couldn't help but wonder "why is everybody so obsessed with themselves?" In a way the internet is really fucking weird.

I still have my twitter, email and blog because well, those are actually fun and semi-creative. Plus I'm still obsessed with myself, obviously, but I just don't want to see 8,000 pictures of some idiot from high school with acne, I DON'T WANT TO BE PART OF YOUR NETWORK! I guess you could say I'm going through yet ANOTHER quarter-life crisis. But this always happens, and I try to look at life with a little bit of a laugh, thinking : well this is my life so I might as well enjoy it. I try to write, read, laugh, love, and make fun of it as much as I possibly can.

For some reason summer being so close is making my head feel a bit wonky. Or maybe it's just my allergy medicine that's got me ~spaced out~ or maybe it's because I woke up at 5Am this fucking morning.. Who really knows? /end.

And if I have to sacrifice some more, then I sacrifice some more.

a recipe for a black hole.

--






God invented dogs to cheer girls up when they're sad, busy being girls. Thanks god!

i may be limping, but i'm coming home

all work and no play mighta done me in
but im stoked i'm back after where i've been


^How to survive a 7hour trip^

A little mix

My hair is dirty and I have a collection of snotty tissues in my purse. The man who sat next to me on the train home ended up being at the exact same Friendly's my friend and I dined at later tonight, sssssmall world. I got some sort of bbq chicken sandwich (which I regretted,) and a complimentary 99cent sundae to christen my good health and safe arrival back in Delaware. I brought my mom a turkey club with a mother days card to make up for my lack of attendance yesterday (yes I know I'm a horrible daughter.)

While unpacking my suitcase I realized my room smells like an old library. I was only gone a week but it feels like months, years even. The calendar reads May. I feel so different and almost exactly the same when I walk into this house. It's a little weird to go from the constant company of my boyfriend Matt, to all this silence. Having someone wrap their arms around my tummy while I brush my teeth, ask me "what do you want for dinner, you can have anything you'd like," I guess the real world and not loving-dream land totally sucks!

I never wanted to be a mindless drone "all I do is talk about my boyfriend and how great and perfect and wonderful our relationship is 24'7," is kind of gals. They're always throwing their relationship in your face, bragging about all the things their man just bought them. They constantly update their twitter with "my bf is just great he is the best," and all you do is roll your eyes. They usually always inform you of TMI sexual things they do with their boyfriend, and usually throw in "and he's sooooo large," somewhere in the mix and you can't help but want to vomit. So at the risk of sounding like a proud mindless drone of a gf, I must admit that my bf is some kind of a sweetheart. I'm a little sad to be hundred of miles away from him, ok, so there I said it. Love, Love love..



On that note, listen to more Ida Maria!

"You've got nothing to lose but Visa card, happy meal, and Kotex with wings."

I never want to eat another cup of these :


An upper respiratory infection is not a good thing to have when you're on vacation, visiting your boyfriend. Somehow I found a doctor in Scranton who cut me a break and I ended up only paying $10 for my cough medicine + an extra $10 for my penicillin. I'm feeling better but I still have this horrible embarrassing cough that won't go away. I was going to come home this weekend but my mom told me to just stay and enjoy myself since I was sick the entire week I was here. It's really sweet considering my mom usually makes me feel guilty for being away from home for more than 3 days, and it's been a week so I'm really happy.

I really love Matt and I'm so so thankful that I have a boyfriend who took care of me for an entire week, letting me cough on him and constantly feeling him hug me in my sleep, grabbing my snotty tissues out of my hands. That's love right there! He brought me toast every morning and held my hand while I took nasty cough medicine that rivals Robitussin by far. I'm really really lucky.

Right now I'm in Matt's room with the windows open feeling a little high from a Dr. Pepper since I haven't had a single taste of anything caffeinated in 8 days. It's funny that I kicked a coffee addiction so easily simply because I was sick as a dog. I'm finally starting to eat real meals and I forgot how vvvvvunderful food is. I showered and we ventured out of the house today to thrift and grab some lunch.

and no, I did not eat a "Cup Noodles,"! Never again!

Also!

I started reading thsi novel:


It's definitely a little wacky, but I'm enjoying it so far. When I'm completely finished I'll write a mini-review that nobody will read. Ps The illustration on the front cover reminds me of Kevin Devine.