Tuesday, May 26, 2009

your heart is a strange little orange to peel

^ Itchy tan skin, War Hungry t from 2006, and mustache decal added in Picnik to hide a chocolaty thumbprint.^

Lately I've been feeling like I'm destined to die alone, without any friends. I'll be the old woman with two people at her funeral, her cat and the one grandmother that will probably out live me. No matter what, all my friends (aside from the boyz,) seem to always get sick of me! I'm sure the boys get sick of me too but they're just less vocal about it. Anyway, I guess I should blame it on my mom (since that's what you're supposed to do.) I seem to have inherited her personality down to a t. I'm irritable, snappy, and worry way too much. I don't like being ignored. I roll my eyes and sigh and repeatedly feel the need to make fun of everything, all the time. I'm annoying, loud, and talk way too much. This sounds more like a really bad personals ad.

Today my dad told me "sweetie, don't let other people rent space in your head," which I thought was great. I worry and worry until my stomach knots and flips around and I'm left wondering "what the fuck did I do wrong?" In the grand scheme of things you're never going to figure out how other people see you. You will always be a little mystery to yourself.

Maybe that's a good thing.

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