Heard you fuck through the wall

When I'm bored
I send vibrations
In your direction
From the satellite mind

The boyfriend got me sick, so I'm scratchy throat-ed and sniffling. Sitting on my bed at home with a million things I should be doing. But I'm too light-headed to really do anything but lay in my queen bed and dread my workweek (which starts tomorrow,) and doesn't end until next Wednesday, about 10hours a day but I do love money. There's a stack of magazine's I'm yet to read, three books I've finished, a brand new 120gig ipod and a tall glass of orange juice. I successfully ate my weight in fresh fruit, cold medicine is so foul tasting. I took my vitamins.

So far what I've uploaded onto my ipod :
Fantasies - Metric
Step Forward EP - Step Forward
Head Trip in Every Way - Super Drag
Regretfully Yours - Super Drag
In the Valley of Dying Stars - Super Drag
For Your Own Special Sweetheart - Jawbox
No Spiritual Surrender - Inside Out
Alone in a Crowd - Inside Out
Day Three of My New Life - Knapsack
Silver Sweepstakes - Knapsack
Intiution - Jamie Foxx
Cyptograms - Deerhunter
Siames Dream - Smashing Pumpkins

Obviously I have some serious work to do, but these were the few albums I could think of to download quickly before I went to sleep. With a 120gig I could basically upload all the music from 12 of my closest and dearest friends + my own music and still have ample room so my music world is about to get AWESOME.

It's weird because I was just thinking about my "Dad" (the real dad, not the one that raised me,) you know the Spanish one who has the same last name as me, same big black-brown eyes and lives in Japan now. The same "Dad" who I never asked for anything but help with money for books and he said "I have to pay for my new car," the same "Dad" who once told me he never loved my mom.

I only think about him sometimes when I hear women on Maury crying "MAURY I NEED TO FIND MY REAL FATHER!!!!" like bitch, actually, you really do not. I was better off never meeting my "real father," I had a step-dad who I refer to as "My Dad," and my "real dad," I call him "Old Dad," (sorry if this is confusing.) Anyway I wish I could just inject those women with some GET OVER IT JUICE and tell them "Look it doesn't matter who your blood father is. If you have a man who raised you as his own who you love and call dad, that's all that matters. Sperm and blood don't mean shit!"

As much as I resented my "Old Dad/ Real dad," okay lets just call him by his first name "Don" I've learned that it's not really his fault that he's so stupid. He can't help it. He's actually an immigrant from Spain and English is his second language, so I've explained to myself that he lacks most American social skills. Not to mention the fact that he's completely cut off from most of his family due to his sexual preference. So I'm guessing he has more demons that he's willing to admit, I'm willing to bet my brother and I are two of them.

Demon 1
Demon 2

Sadly, I don't think he'll realize that until it's too late.

Anyway, I really deviated from the point. So basically "Don" has been trying to get me to come to Tokyo, Japan for the summer and work for him. And up until now I was like "Man bullshit, fuck you!" I never said that but I was always thinking it. I'd just respond with something polite like, "OH yeah that's really cool! I'll see what I can do!" Because god forbid if I hurt the feelings of the deadbeat dad who abandoned me and didn't speak a single word to me until age 15.

----DADDY ISSUES------

MOVING ALONG TO THE TOPIC AT HAND, yesterday I got probably my third or fourth email from Don in the past year and it read :


Erica, there are summer jobs here available. The jobs are admin assistant to computer work nothing real technical. It's a good chance to make some decent money.

Don Moreno


Plz overlook the fact that my "Real father" I mean "Don" is a fucking robotic moron.
Also keep in mind he missed my birthday, all major holidays and just the standard "Hey offspring how the hell are ya!?" Standard email.

Aside from that frustration I thought it over and living in Japan for the summer could be an awesome experience, especially living in Tokyo. It'd be nice to get away from Delaware. I know my friends will survive without me, my mom will continue on her path to self destruction and my boyfriend will probably be on tour while I'll be lost in translation making "Decent money."



I'm trying to tell myself that all of this is happening for a reason. Those reason's I'm assuming are : Sushi, towelket's, Meiji Shrine and the Sensoji Temples, Aqua Museum at Yokohama Hakkeijima Sea Paradise (three-story aquarium with over 100,000 sea creatures/ "Aqua Tube" which is an underwater tunnel,) and of course the Choshoan Tea Room.